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Only two more days until my man is back in Sthlm and we're all reunited again. Another week with me and the children 24/7, sickness, nights ... the days are sometimes e x t r e m e l y long and It's not always easy to know how to fill them so they fit both my energetic toddler - and little Leon. (Not to mention me, who is not the fondest of just hanging in parks all day long I've realised.)

I'm sending thoughts to all elder people who are all by them self every day, all year through. Lonely ... I really feel for them, I can almost touch how it must be to not have anyone, to breath the loneliness as a brutal day to day reality. When I was younger and worked in the hospital, I saw it so often. Really lonely people, without anyone. I feel so blessed for everything in my life. Especially my family and friends. Even though I appreciate to be lonely, it's always the chosen loneliness that is so liberating and up-lifting. But the opposite, the dark one, must be horrible.
It should be forbidden not to be taken cared of when growing older (if you were a nice person when being younger of course, you get what you give). I hope we're all doing the Italian style and living in a enormous house and have grandparents, bambinos, dogs, well cooked food, wine and just a lot of happiness when our families grow older and the family that we're creating. That would be pure happiness and life fullness as pure as it can be. I actually think that's how nature planed it.

For this reason I'm trying to think about how blessed I am, having the possibility to be at home with my children even if it's been the hardest job in my life. Because the same way, I LOVE it so much. We share an enormous amount of happiness together at home. I mean, I laugh, pure and raw laughing about thirty times per day because of those two little monsters (and probably would like to scream out loud, just as many times). So even if I feel so tired, exhausted, sometimes frustrated and like I'm being captured in a fish bowl and can't breath - most of the time I just look around and smile for the simple fact that THIS is life. Chaotic, intensive, dirty, developing, loving and warm. And this is what will change you forever. I know what it is to do this journey.

But life is always in motion and soon there will be big changes in our family for sure. Until then I'm counting the days until our helping lady is arriving. I've prepared her room all lovely and for now, it's the cosiest place in the house (except the children's each room who are just to die for). I would love it to be a Yoga and Pilates room in the future when we're redone some more spaces. But she is landing on Sunday and on Monday Alexis starts kindergarden so hopefully my life will take a 360° turn in about two weeks when everything is settled and the routines are going well and strong!
At the moment I literally have NO time. So again, apologise for all emails, even the "north of the city"emails you guys sent out so kindly, but honestly, I hardly have time to eat lunch so emails have a low priority at the moment!

Talk soon!

(my new favourite silk pants: Greta/here, cashmere sweater: SoftGoat, coat: Zara, shades: Prada & bag: Hermès)

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